How you cause yourself stress

Perfectionism is at the top of the list of internal stress causes – and is a common trait among those at risk of burnout. Of course there is nothing to be said against wanting to do something well. But does it always have to be excellent? Surely it’s better to do things efficiently. Break out of your typical behaviour patterns. Ask yourself: where do I really have to invest all my energy – and where would a “sufficient” be okay, too? Tip: Write down sentences such as “I am allowed to make mistakes” or “Less is sometimes more” on pieces of paper and stick them in places where you will come across them again and again.

Almost all of us have things at home we don’t really use. But the more we own, the more things we have to store, dust, maintain and repair. Unnecessary ballast causes stress and eats up our time. So: get rid of everything you don’t need or don’t like any more. Many things can also be shared or borrowed – such as a neighbour’s drill, cars through a car-sharing service or a book from the good old library.

As practical as smartphones, chat and telephone apps are: when we use them we are permanently available and active. As a result, the body increasingly forgets how to relax – and inner restlessness grows. So try and structure your time: set aside fixed periods dedicated to reading and answering smartphone messages and e-mails. In this way you can reduce digital stress. If it helps, you can install an app such as Freedom that temporarily blocks any distracting apps and websites. And then – enjoy the analogue life!

People who fail to connect with friends in stressful situations create even more stress for themselves. There is evidence that stress symptoms are particularly pronounced when social support is lacking. By the same token: when social support is available, the body produces neurotransmitters that not only reduce pain but also alleviate anxiety and stress. So be sure to take time for those close to you on a regular basis!

You know what you are capable of and you know what kind of result you want at the end – so you prefer to do everything yourself. But if you get to the point where you are unable to do get everything done yourself, stress is pre-programmed – and you reach a dead end. So: learn to delegate responsibility and distance yourself from the outset. Trust that things can be great even if someone else is taking care of them. And accept that an outcome doesn’t necessarily have to be worse just because it’s different from the way you imagined it to be.

It can easily happen: you take on too much, overload yourself up with too many appointments or tasks in your private life – and you end up wondering why you’re behind schedule with everything. We can avoid this stress by consciously keeping a clear list of pending tasks and maintaining a realistic time schedule. Arrange your pending matters according to urgency. Break down larger tasks into smaller steps and take care of them over a period of several days. Enter all your appointments – every single one – in a calendar, whether on paper or in an app. And: always get the unpleasant things done first, then you’ll feel more relaxed for the rest of the day.

Are you someone who prefers to be adaptable so as not to offend others – and always remain friendly to avoid confrontation? If you constantly ignore your own needs, you’ll end up causing yourself a lot of stress. So: take yourself seriously. If you can distance yourself, say no and stand up for your needs, you will live a healthier life. What is more: if you clearly show your character, you’ll rarely be rejected as a result – in fact you’re more likely to gain additional respect.

As you can see: there are lots internal stress factors. But they can be reduced considerably through mindfulness, patience and practice.